Sunday, November 20, 2005

What to do when you find your belly being painted by a bunch of beautiful women

Lie there and enjoy the heck out of it.

I have such a warm glow around me from the baby shower yesterday, and I'm still trying to sort out the memories. Mostly it's a blur - Being surrounded by the wonderful people I love and wanting to tell them all how much I appreciate them being in my life. I do remember sharing pregnancy and birthing stories along with the other mothers there. I remember being so happy that I could actually eat the cake since it was wheatless. I remember eating a lot of sushi. And then, the US Navy sent a couple of F/A-18 Hornets to do touch-and-go practice at Moffett Air Field, and they flew right over the house about four times, close enough to smell the pilot's aftershave.

Later, I was surrounded by beautiful women and painted.

What a perfect day! Thank you!

Why I'm doing all this.

My early-morning dozing was disturbed this morning by my toddler's insistent voice. "Mommy, mommy!" she was yelling, right in my ear. I opened my eyes and found her face inches away from mine. "I love you, mommy," she said.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Somebody call CPS, quick!

We gave our daughter ice cream for dinner and then she fell asleep without brushing her teeth. This makes us either really good or really bad parents, depending on your point of view.

Friday, November 11, 2005

How to tell stories to a toddler

- Mommy, tell me a story about horses.

- OK. Once upon a time, there was a horse...

- No, no, mommy! Tell me a story about a pony!

- OK. Once upon a time, there was a pony...

- No, no, mommy! Tell me a story about a pony horse.

- OK. Once upon a time, there was a pony horse. This pony horse lived in a big field. It was very lonely and so one day it decided to travel. It walked out of its field because somebody left the gate open. It started walking down the road and it met a duck, who peed on it.

[Toddler collapses in giggles. The End.]

Not there yet, but...

...we will be some day:

The Teen Book (Or wishing it existed!)

Monday, November 07, 2005

This morning it was:

" I know my A-B-C's, next time won't you fart on me!"

I don't know where she gets it.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

More things that kids say

Number-One Daughter [pointing at my belly]: That baby! That baby is going to come out and play with me?

Me: Yes, but it won't be able to play with you at first, but then it will get bigger and will be able to play with you!

Number-One Daughter: Oh! That sucks!

Friday, November 04, 2005

wrong knowledge

I just found out that a two-word anagram for my first and last names is "shallow pain." Not sure what to do with this knowledge, except blog it.

Actually, it gets even better when you add my middle name and make a three word limit. You get "Egalitarian Whore Lumps." Also:

Amongst many, many others. Better hope I have this baby, soon. I'm not on bed rest all day but I'm on bed rest for when I'm not at work. I'll only get more bored.

Watch your language!

Husband: OK, Ruthie, it's time to go play with kids!

Number-One Daughter: Dod-dammit! I need my boots!

Husband [turning to me helplessly]: I did not swear today, I mean it!

Why we had a helicopter hovering over our neighborhood for two hours yesterday

The apartment building where this happened - There was a unit in that building for rent when we were first looking for a place to live in Oakland. I drove by the address and kept on driving.

Woman reports her own break-in
OAKLAND — Carolyn Hunt, a medical worker in San Francisco, returned home to an uninvited guest in her High Street apartment Thursday before police ushered the intruder out. Police said a mentally disturbed woman broke into Hunt's first-floor unit on the 2600 block of High Street and called 9-1-1 just after 2:30 p.m. to report what she had done. She told emergency dispatchers she was armed and afraid "people were out to hurt her," Oakland police Officer Danielle Bowman said.

Police believe the woman had tried to break into other houses earlier in the day in the neighborhood just east of Interstate 580. One caller reported a woman had broken into her house and stolen her cell phone. Bowman said police believe the female intruder might have called police from the stolen phone. Police negotiated with the woman for nearly two hours before SWAT team officers fired bean bag bullets at her as she crawled from an apartment window just after 5 p.m.

Bowman said the intruder, described as being in her early 20s, was not injured and was taken into custody without incident. She was transported to John George Psychiatric Pavilion for evaluation and could face burglary charges. Bowman said police recovered at least one of the suspect's guns from Hunt's apartment. When Hunt tried to pull into the apartment complex's driveway at about 4:40 p.m., police told her to keep going, she said as she waited outside police tape Thursday for police to apprehend the suspect. "I'm hoping that everything I have has not been destroyed," Hunt said. Bowman said she had not been in the apartment since the woman was taken into custody, but she believes the apartment had been "trashed a little bit." Hunt said she did not know the suspect.