Oh, those monkeys

One of my daughter's favourite rhymes is the one about the monkeys jumping on the bed. This morning in the tub, we were chanting that, "...no more monkeys jumping on the bed!" Then we started playing with the consonants: "No more bunkies yumping on the red!" ...etc...

It had to stop when my daughter came out with, "No more junkies fucking on the bed!"

This is NOT funny

My new baby is going to be a Capricorn (OK, better had, anyway). Today's horoscope in the SF Chron:

Don't put up the "for sale sign before you're ready. You get one chance, so don't cave in to impatience. Continue to whet appetites.

Then mine begins: "Looking to someone else to make a decision keeps you hanging."

It's just not FAIR!

Today's Horoscope

This is really my horoscope in the SF Chronicle today:

"A family matter weighs heavily on you. But there's nothing that can be done."

!POR FIN!

Don't go look HERE if your name starts with M or R, and you have a beautiful daughter whose name starts with L and I owe her a spirit-bag. Please. But it's finished!

Still no baby, but...

Today's strip is one of the reasons why I love Doonesbury.

I woke up at 4am and I was AWAKE. This pregnancy thing has GOT to go.

No baby yet, but...

...We're getting the SF Chronicle again in the mornings, which gives me more time to peruse the day's stories over tea and breakfast. So we get laughter, frustration, and tears first thing in the morning. Take, for example, this article which appeared yesterday. A quote:

In an interview with Fox News, Bush said he hopes DeLay, a fellow Texas Republican, will be cleared of charges that he illegally steered corporate money into campaigns for the Texas Legislature and will reclaim his powerful leadership position in Congress.
"I hope that he will, 'cause I like him, and plus, when he's over there, we get our votes through the House," Bush told Fox News' Brit Hume."

Wow, Mr. President! Really powerful words, there!

Today, Jon Carroll took on the whole "Happy Holidays" v. "Merry Christmas" nonsense. An excerpt which would have made me snort my milk up my nose had I been drinking milk at the time:

"...if you'd told me a decade ago that I'd live in a world where "happy holidays" would become a flash point of controversy, I would have asked for a damp washcloth and nine Valiums."

Exactly.

Finally, here's an editorial by Dick Rogers about mathematics/arithmetic and the media.

I'm really planning on having the baby very, very soon. However, The House Bean and I have figured out the problem: My mother-in-law is not flying in until Wednesday morning. We know now that she is in cahoots with the baby and has made a deal with it not to be born until she is here. We know we are right because she probably talked to God about it also, and being Mormon she has a direct line. My own mother used this tactic (except not the Mormon part) when Number One Daughter was going to be born. NOD conveniently did not arrive until my mother had arrived on the scene. Number Two Something apparently knows which side its bread is buttered on, also.

Working on it...

80% effaced and 1 cm dilated...

Yer outa here, babe

I have officially served Grub with its two-week notice. Grub has been ordered to vacate the premises and to take all its stuff with it. In addition, it must leave the premises in much the same condition as the previous tenant did. Larger quarters will be provided by the management.