1. Serious lack of public parks. Unless you want to buy drugs or have your children play amongst the needles. Or you don't mind garbage. Or you never have to go to the restroom.
2. Dr. Randolph "I make Satan look like a choir boy" Ward, state-appointed destroyer of public education.
3. Too many (*&%$^%^! freeways.
4. Too many self-centered, cell-phone chatting ignoramuses (ignoramii?) clogging up those freeways in their Lexus SUV's.
5. Miserable excuse for a lake, AKA "Dam that estuary anyhow!"
6. People completely ignoring that there is a vehicle code. You think the person in front of you is waiting too long to take that unprotected left-hand turn? Go around him on the left! No, you don't need headlights in your car! Don't want to wear a motorcycle helmet? Don't bother! Ride your non-street-legal dirtbike on the sidewalk (after all, it's not street legal!)! Don't want to make a u-turn? Drive in reverse!
7. Did I mention garbage everywhere yet?
8. You don't need to go to the dump. Just take those five bags of garbage and dump them under an overpass. Public works will do your work for you!
9. Kids who are completely off the hook. Lots of them. And the parents (or grandparents) who defend them. "No, my granddaughter didn't steal that sweater out of your house. I bought it for her."
10. Clogged up freeways in the middle of the afternoon on a Sunday.
And to those who say, "If you don't like it, then leave," I am. I have one more year, though, before I can.
Coming up next: Reasons why Oakland isn't so bad. I promise.
